20.

Dear blog,

I just need to get this out my chest.

Though we might be far, and sometimes hard to reach, you've always been there with me, for me, and I'm forever grateful for that. Imysm, more that you know. :')

IRMYSM. <3

Nothing more I could say. :)

peace out and stay awesome!

19.

Dear blog,

Finally, the time is here. Malaysia Student Conference 2011. Will be going at 4.00am later. Flight 6.15am. Do pray for us who will be going there. There will be 15 of us from UNIMAS. Gosh, I can't wait. :)

Today, I learn something interesting, the beauty of silence. Today, I learn to keep quiet (rather than being my usual noisy self) and learn to appreciate things around me. I notice today that when I just keep on talking, I missed several things, like people around me, the environment, etc.. When I kept quiet today, I start to see clearly, how other people behave, especially. But people of course feel weird when I started acting that way. Hahaha.. No worries guys, just learning to keep quiet and listen. Hehehe. Sometimes, keeping quiet and listen is the best way to understand others. :)

Well, that's all for now. Need to sleep for awhile before the flight. Not sure if I can online in the next few days, so we see how things go. :)

peace out and stay awesome!

18.

Dear blog,

Well, the time shows 11:47pm on 15 May 2011, and here I am.. Just got back from eating steamboat with my friends, Admund, Caroline, Justin and Jong (I think that was his name.. haha..)
After a time with friends, especially over a nice dinner like that, we should go back home, and feel happy about it right? Well, not me. Something feels wrong tonight and I don't know what..
As I stepped out of Admund's car, and walked into 7-Eleven to buy something to drink, on my way back to Shalom Church, suddenly my heart was not as happy as it should be.. I thought it might be just a mood swing, so I leave it as that. Then I switched on my laptop and as usual, Facebook. As I was going through the comments, status updates and such, that feeling I had just now just returned, even stronger.. Gosh.. I wonder what is wrong.. Well, best thing to do first is talk to the Big Guy.. He understands more.. Then to 'you'.. I really need You and you right now. :'(

peace out and stay awesome.

17.

Dear blog,

I know I have not written here in a very, very, very, very long time, but something has been bugging me starting a few days ago. Well, it was on the most HOT topic amongst teens and young adults nowadays, Boy-Girl Relationship (BGR)

Well, to be frank, I'm not involve with this BGR thing now, but for the past few days, people have been keeping on telling me stories about good, healthy and successful BGRs. After going through my fair share of relationships, I notice that my focus on having a relationship was out of focus. It's was either I was being desperate or following my heart's desire, LUST. See, when I notice this, I tried to 'hinder' myself for BGRs, while trying to get my focus and purpose straight. So I came up with several questions which I need to answer first before getting involve in a relationship again.

1. What is the purpose of the relationship?
2. Like or Love?
3. Have I become the best guy God wanted me to be?
4. Are both parties ready for the relationship?
5. Casual or Committed?

I need to answer these questions first and of course, make sure what I am doing is going to glorify God.

Back to the main story, after listening and reading about these awesome BGR stories, it made me started to think back on my past relationships and what I saw was all my past relationships, are no where close to the standard of the stories I've heard. Gosh.. To be honest, I was a lil' jealous when I heard those stories, because I kept on thinking, "Why can't my story be like that?" Then I re-think and said to myself, "the time will come, where you story will be even more awesome than them." Well, that was just being positive.

See, sometimes I always get confused with my own feelings..! Can't you believe it?? I like a lot of girls..! Gosh! See this girl, like, see that girl, like. Man! Seriously I was starting to get tired. However, one particular girl did manage to catch my eyes.. Hmm.. Honestly, I find her to be different from the other girls. I can't explain what. To me, she just 'pop-ed' and rose above the rest. Now I just worried, either what I'm feeling is like or LOVE..? This I need to get straight with myself.. If it is just like then no point in wasting my time.. If it is LOVE, then I have to take actions.. See, right now, I've learned, I'm not looking for a girlfriend, but instead, a wife. I know some might think I'm too young to think such things, but trust me, the time will come and I just want to be prepared early.

A wife is not just someone who is there with you when you are all happy and calm, and when things starts to shake, they disappear. NO! This is the woman who will be by your side, through thick and thin, wealth and poverty, healthy or sick and so on. She will be the one next to you when you are raised high in the clouds and she will be the one next to you when you are pulled down in the dumps. Bottom-line, SHE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU FOREVER or till death do you part. See, this is why this decision is very, very important. You will be sharing your life with her, everyday of your life. And if you pick the wrong one, you will regret it. I need to know if she is the one. If she is my missing rib. If she is willing to stand next to me. If she is willing. If..

I don't want a relationship which only last a few weeks, months or years but ends up with a break-up and broken hearts. No good can come from that. That's why I never told her what's in my mind.. I do tell her I missed her dearly and I do joke around with her a lot.. But under all that, I'm trying to be sure about my feelings, and to be honest, I don't know if she knows what am I going through or how she feels about me. But I know my God's timing is perfect and when He has shown me His ways, then I take my step.

A part of me wants to tell her how I feel so badly but another part of me asks me to wait, and I've decided to wait, until I am sure about these feelings of mine.

Father, I am not sure about my feelings right now, but I am putting my complete trust and faith in You that You show me Your ways. Show me what must be done. Teach me o Lord to be the best guy that You wanted me to be so that I can guide my future family in Your love. Thank You Father for everything You've done for me.. Not my will, but let Your will be done. Amen.

peace out and stay awesome!

16.

KASIH - JASON

KASIH ITU SABAR
MURAH HATI
LEMAH LEMBUT
TAK CEMBURU
KASIH ITU MEMBERI
SUKACITA DI HATI

KASIH ITU MENGERTI
S'LALU MEMBERI
TIADA MENCARI
LEMAHNYA DIRI
KASIH ITU MEMBERI
SUKACITA DI HATI

REFF:
BEGITU BANYAKNYA CERITA
TENTANG KASIH-NYA YANG SEMPURNA
MARILAH KITA MEMBERI DUNIA
TELADAN KRISTUS DI DALAM KITA

15.

Dear blog,

wahh. It has been like what, 2 months plus since I last wrote something. Gosh. Since my laptop died the other day, suddenly stop posting sudah. LOL. Nevermind, can start back now! Yeah!!

So from now on will try to post daily but rather than tell about what I did and what happened that day, better write what's on my mind yeah?

1st and far most is about what I've learn from my brother in Christ, Riong Lawrence. Gosh, when I read what he had to say about BGR, it really did gave me a food for thought. It sounds something like this..

When I stopped viewing girls as potential girlfriends and started treating them as sisters in Christ, I discovered the richness of true friendship. - Lawrence, R.

When I read this, wow! It really change my mindset. Before this is was all about looking for girlfriends and stuff. But then I realise the most important thing, is to be brothers and sisters in Christ. I started to recall my past. God know what I've done. And when we see girls more towards girlfriends, rather than a sister in Christ, what we are running after is not LOVE but LUST. When we get to know a girl as a sister in Christ, the we can feel the meaning of friendship with girls, compare to just looking at them as girlfriends. I believe God as prepared me a perfect WIFE, not a perfect GIRLFRIEND. Thank God for my brother Riong who has shared so much to me. Thanks brother. Thank you too God for everything I've been through. AMEN!

peace out and stay awesome!

14.

Dear blog,

another boring day in Joshua Baru's life. Was a sad day really after finding out bout the passing of our dear uncle Robert Jelung.. Condolence to the family of the late uncle Robert Jelung..

Woke up don't know what time. haha. Then mum broke the news of the passing of uncle Robert. I was like can't believe it but I know it's true. He die due to Lung Cancer... Which is kinda ironic cause he don't smoke. This shows the bad effect of being a second hand smoker. DANGEROUS people! Stop smoking please. We still love you. The parents are busy moving here and there due to this incident.. They even when and sleep over at their house. huhu. Don't worry mum we can take care of ourself. =)

At night went for the SIB Senadin Anniversary Dinner. Had fun, nothing much happen. Ow yeah. Did use cousin's handphone and texted with Emu and Steph. haha. 2 people who I recently know and want to get to know them better. Which I could ask for their phone numbers but mesti they fikir I'm just like other guys, ask their number just to takel them. I mok berkenal ja pun. huhu. Nevermind, tunggu I berani minta lar. hehe. Which reminds me bout Eunice, the vocalist for JeDi, a gospel band from the recent Musical Celebration. Got to know her recently through Facebook. She got offer from Matriculation for the 2-years programme. Hope she will make the right choice!

Anyway, World Cup Fever people!! England vs USA soon. Gonna watch it for sure! Rooting for the Three Lions to bag all three points! =)

Well, that's basically it for now. Can't wait for tomorrow!!

peace out and stay awesome!